SDM- 06/05/2021

26 Dreamers


Nomads- what we do and don’t take with us.  

‘Now’ on clock- history, what is taken from history… but future could be different.  Hope.


Risk- we can fall- it is a very hard path

Second chance to rewrite our path- are we here to make history repeat itself or to make other choices?

Language- how we communicate and interpret the different experiences- reality/dreams/myths- one person’s experience being different from someone else’s in communication.  Importance and power of communication.  We have the potential to do something about that- think about our languages/diversity of thinking- what has been lost in language and culture.

Coordinates of the spiral: movement, time, and freedom. One of the images that emerged from the matrix is the spiral. When there are no fixed points of reference, and the movement seems to repeat itself indefinitely, are we facing history repeating itself or do we have the opportunity to write a new path by treasuring past mistakes? Every time on the clock is “now”: as the time to be able to have a language with less prejudice/judgment.  To be in contact with the other.

How inequalities have been shown so clearly- performative nature of Zoom- exacerbated by Zoom, but is always there to a certain extent- same with some inequalities and the way we have used language in the past.

Maybe Zoom is making performative aspect more visible.  Whenever we act in relationship with other people we may be preoccupied about how we will be perceived by the other.  Do I behave well for that context?  On Zoom this is more visible as you have the image in front of you.

It felt a kind matrix- how you use language, what you do and don’t say- terminology.  Something around Maori/Aboriginal ideas- different cultures- playing between these- potential for shifting identities- communication and greater care for those in communication with each other.  Listening, not just taking the initial impression of what is being said but to actually listen beyond that.

Language and behaviour- More rational- politically correct language- how this can be embodied in our thought/way of seeing things authentically- not just seen as politically correct but the right way to interact with other people diverse from me.  Question of identity- how do I relate?

To my own identity to enter the other

Main theme of society from now on is language, identity and equality- how to use power.

Reappearing of dream about rushing to get a seat on an aeroplane.  People want to get back to how things were- but not exactly the same as before- want to get out of here to another place.  Resistance to the idea of returning to exactly the way things were before.  Desire and fear at the same time.

 The Matrix

D1: I was staying in a house by the beach- looking to the left to a small town which I can just make out.  I look at beach and see it is crowded with many objects- I cannot see what they are.  Walking down a green hill behind the house where I am staying.  See clearing and better view of beach- objects are all yellow and are tents or maybe sleeping bags.  I have an immediate association to the film ‘Nomadland’ and say ‘Oh yes, the gathering of nomads.’

A1- The word ‘nomad’- I heard it as ‘no’ ‘mad’- not mad.

A2- ‘Nomads’- I sometimes like to call myself one.  Represents freedom and strong bond of people in family of nomads- so strong that they can survive moving from place to place forever.

A3- When I watch movies these days I find myself slightly surprised that people in the movies are not socially distanced or that there are so many people crowded in one place.

A4- Nomads and ‘Nomadland’- follow a trail which may be vast, but cyclical movement according to season and where you find food.  It is not everywhere- there is a trail.

A5- Just realised how the dream has spoken to me as I am moving house in September and the house I am moving to is on the beach- wouldn’t it be great to be a nomad, moving between two different countries, not locking oneself to one place.  Beautiful expectation to associate oneself with this freedom- whether on route or not: free movement.

A6- Association to yellow tents and sleeping bags- refugee camps- being on the beach- floods and climate change necessitating movement.  Differences that there can be- whether a choice or not a choice- free movement, forced movement and the difference between them- what that looks like.

A7- Reminds me of an occasion this morning- a yellow canary on my balcony, I was totally surprised.  Asked myself if the person who owned the canary wanted to get rid of it because it is so loud, or whether it just flew out of the window.

A8- Canary and seaside- D2- baby seagull, mother was in nest and trying to move it on.  Came into the house, I was lying on the floor and it was playfully pecking at me.  At one point it turned into a crow.

A9- Migration of birds- every year I wonder how these birds come back to my backyard.

A10- Nomad and no man’s land/travel-

D3- It is night, I am at an airport- by the runway there is a forest at one side.  I am in a big group- we all have suitcases and are waiting on the runway with fear, anxiety, trepidation at getting to plane.  Plane is 300yds away- lit up with stairs going up- waiting.  Protocol as to who should get on the plane and how we should get on it.  All breaks loose and people all run for their lives towards the aircraft.  We are inside, cabin seems full, I have been allocated a seat.  I go there and find that a whole family is in the seats where I am supposed to be sitting.  I wonder what to do- bag in hand. 

A11- Aeroplane and baby bird- news piece about a flight to Salt Lake City where a woman gave birth to a child- and she didn’t even know she was pregnant.  Baby born up in the air in a plane.

A12- Reminds me of recent birth by young mother- gave birth to nine babies.  I wonder how they are doing now.

D4- At a farm/boarding school institution, to find a room for my good friend whom I haven’t seen in two years.  Saw my original supervisor for my therapy practice in Canada.  Starting to react or act in a play which we had started before the pandemic.  Felt good- but also felt strange to be re-enacting something- moving back. 

A13- D4 associates to D3- How are we shifting?  What do we do when things are not allocated as they were before?  Theme of movement.

D5- I could speak Dutch fluently.  I live in the Netherlands but don’t speak Dutch very well- in the dream I was so positively surprised that I could speak without an accent and seamlessly translate into German.  When I woke up I realised that one of the reasons I don’t speak Dutch well is because when I do speak it, I speak with a German accent. People treat me differently when I speak English- a nomad problem somehow.

A14- Having lived in four different countries and travelled in the last seven years, I have increasingly noticed it is far easier to get by in the world without learning the local language.  Travel was so different 10-20 years ago without translators, mobile phones, and the dominance of the English language.  What is being lost along the way?  Maoris and others trying to save their language.  Here we are communicating in English from different parts of the world- allows us to be together but contributes to the homogeneity.

A15- Language stream brings me closer to my experience when I speak German- everyone says ‘It sounds so sexy, I love it.’

A16- Language- memories of a few years ago, working with some tribes in Ladakh.  Deaths among young people had suddenly spiked and one of the reasons they allocated the deaths to was loss of language.  Many were moving to cities and learning other languages- English, and forgetting Ladakhi- their mother tongue.  They then couldn’t understand the stories that lived inside them… couldn’t connect the dots.  In India a language or dialect dies every 4 minutes, and with that, a culture.

D6- A friend of mine was a guest at an informal meeting/party.  Lots of people there.  My friend was standing at a gallery.  Somehow she started to dance- first to move very slowly, nearly invisible, then intensified it and was dancing.  Her dancing changed into gestures of leading or conducting a choir- before there was no music when she was dancing, but then she conducted choir- people sang but no voices were to be heard- complete silence.  My friend then started to disappear and it was a very fascinating and irritating visual effect- she didn’t disappear fully, just some parts of her were visible and some not- it changed.  I was wondering ‘What is that?  Is it magic?’ Can’t remember the rest of the dream.

A17- Dancing dream- some of us once relied so much on movement and dance for creativity and freedom.  People who enjoy festivals and outings around dance haven’t been able to in the way they were used to.  Friend changing her movements to conduct choir- we may need to free other ways of expressing ourselves that may have been lying dormant.  Maybe she found a new way to communicate- adapted to the situation.

A18- Maori/freedom/cultures which die out- strongly remember 20 years ago meeting two young Maori activist/musicians.  They came with me and we met with my teacher friend who also worked at a famous auction house.  Met at auction space- huge impressionist painting sold at record price.  Standing with a couple and discussing how they were in London to retrieve bones of their ancestors which were on display in museums.  My friend was sympathetic.  Standing by painting- explaining how it caused a sensation when first painted- spontaneously one of the young Maoris placed his hand to feel the texture of the paint.  Security staff convened to try and stop him.  My teacher friend reassured them it was OK, didn’t say anything, just calmed the situation.  Maoris didn’t understand what had happened.  If only this way everyday.

D7- Got involved with many beautiful young people, wandering in teh same place.  Some friends worked to serve these people.  Had an impression in the dream of a musical.

A19- Recognised differently by German accent- reminded me of a recent PCCA Group Relations conference- I relate very much with the Jews who live in different countries.  I talk at length with them to understand why they and I relate so closely.  Phrase came to mind ‘When I read your history, I see my history.’

D8- My younger sister comes to me, crying- she tells me that growing up we had a picture on the altar of the last supper which is now with the house’s new owners and they refuse to give it.  Go to the house thinking I will have to argue hard to get it back.  I go to the house and ask the couple for the picture- they are extremely friendly and put it in a bag then offer to drive me.  I am surprised as I had got the impression from my sister that they would be very rude.  They drive me in a rickshaw and give me the bag and give me a very affectionate hug.

A20- Last supper, original picture hanging in Milan, I have tried twice to see it but it is very difficult to get an appointment- otherwise you have to stand in a long queue.  Affection for Milan and friends I have there- good connection to affection to the Last Supper painting.

A21- Dreams about loss of language and suddenly being able to speak language without accent- recurring dream when I work as an interpreter- both about speaking a language and not being able to speak a language- warning dream

D9- I miss beginning of sentence and only hear first part and cannot translate without hearing the first bit.  In the flow of translating and something draws attention to how you actually do it- and as soon as you think that, the ability goes.

A22- How do I get into the mindset of the dreamer?

A23- What language are we speaking in the Dream Matrix, in the dreamscape; of themes.  Sharing themes in our dreams which may be exciting, musical, frightening, scary.  Language and dreams- what is it?

A24- Language is identity- how do I express myself?  How do I think?  In what language do I dream?

A25- Last night in bed listening to amazing recital in the Wigmore Hall with no audience- Arab harpsichordist playing Bach’s First Volume of 48 Preludes and Fugues.  Sometimes heard him turning a page- occasionally a little bird song/note, between the pieces.  Harpsichordist was Arab- but seemed to me he was playing centuries old music in German, with quality of feeling in the music, internalised following the mindset of Bach- something I had never heard before in this music.

A26- Desire to see The Last Supper in Milan- dream and reality.  I have been there and seen the painting- and going through queue and security measures- made me feel it was a mechanical process.  When I looked at the painting I could see ‘Oh, it looks OK, it looks like I thought it would.’  With all the security measures- the reality of protecting the painting- I felt stripped out of any space for feeling.  That is the reality of going to see the real painting.  I wonder what is better- reality or dream.

A27- Harpsichordist becoming conduit for Bach- reminded me of act of translating- you often speak for the whole day but don’t say anything yourself.  Language is identity.  You do talk- but it is not you who is talking.  You are a conduit for something else.  Something about dreaming that is quite similar to that.

A28- Image of aboriginal Maori man and painting- he was there to connect with the bones of ancestors dotted around in museums- museums construct a narrative of meaning that gives a voice to silent artefacts encased in glass.  Relates to how people are feeling in our isolated boxes at home- preparing to open up the world again post pandemic.

A29- Language, identity, translation- ‘persona’- often mis-translated as mask, but it means ‘that through which the sound comes’.

A30- Comment about language lost in India- where dying language goes into the collective unconscious and perhaps comes out in dreams.

A31- Native indigenous aboriginal- dream is very significant in aboriginal Australian culture, dreamtime, dream space.  As a child I used to dream in three languages.  Now I only dream in English which was not my original native language.

A32- Clock I saw last week- instead of numbers there were ‘Now’ ‘Now’ ‘Now’- at every time.

A33- The film ‘Groundhog Day’- same day repeated again and again.

A34- ‘Alice in Wonderland’- conversation of time, one minute.

A35- Bones in museum- giving birth…

 D10 – I remembered giving birth/having a miscarriage/blood.  Looked in bin with friend and saw a package with child’s bones.  Felt shock and shame as I remembered what had happened to me.

D11- Family was camping in Drakensberg in South Africa.  Thunderstorm raging.  I was worried lightning would hit trees where we were camping.  Fell asleep again and sound of thunder was sound of bullets- family were running and hiding behind trees.  Family were all hit by bullets.  Woke up again and realised it was thunder I was hearing.

A36- Creation of the world- remembered that aboriginal children and other cultures in SA and Australia- used to dream their dreams, if they were frightening they should tell parents or wise people in their tribes about the dreams and they would help them to choose a new ending for the dream.  A way to cope with frightening themes that they dreamt about.  Maybe there is a question as to whether now is the time in the clock to do something- movement.  Maybe we can do something to make things different in the future.  Can we write the story differently/change the future by doing or being something.

A37- Struck by reality of teacher who protected aboriginal as he was touching the painting.  Idea of protecting something that is ineffable- can’t put a word on it.  As opposed to women who stood in line to look at ‘The Last Supper’ with too much security so that it lost something.  How do we move forward to protect.

A38- Last Supper/Madonna and Child, woman who gave birth on the flight- baby wrapped up in bins.  Tension of being alive/death.  New life coming/preparing to end a current life.

A39- Maori/movement- Maori symbol [Koru]- green spiral that represents movement, not forward, not back, not birth, not death- but eternal shape of all things in nature.

Dream Reflections Dialogue

A lot of silence- many spaces of gracious silence.  Theme of language- I wonder if the silences that are there in the isolation of those who are losing people, ones that are left behind and haven’t spoken- is the time now to come together and be and listen, even though we may not understand one another.

Silence- made me think of the silence of breathing in and out- instead of the number of dreams clamouring to get in.  Less traumatic nature of recounting the dreams.  Picks up with theme of opening up after the pandemic.  Questions in the matrix about language, identity- will it be different.  Will the large group identity be different?

In silence I thought there are fewer dreams than previously- are people sleeping deeper and being more at ease?  Connection with language- do I speak with an accent/fluently?  What is my language going to be in the future?  Am I going to try to speak a fluent language?  OK to speak with or without an accent.  What is my identity after the pandemic?

Matrix raises question ‘What is a dream?’  Associations we give are dreams too.  Whole matrix is a collective dream.  Not the number of dreams shared that is necessarily the most important indicator.  Play with colours- play with music- play with religion.

Languages- many native, new aboriginal- there is only one language we have, we have one accent and that is our language.  Idea of native/aboriginal- precariousness.  Vital/resurgent. 

Month of Ramadan- Germany has just closed lots of things in public sphere- German language triggering certain hostility feelings/sexy feelings.  Binary collective relationship with Germany.  Pergamon Altar not reopening until 2024.

Trying to share/communicate something in dreams.  Hard to articulate- green spiral, I drew a green spiral.  I didn’t know what to say.  Images.

How we locate ourselves- people locating things in Geography- also something linguistic about how we give voice to things- what gets named, what doesn’t.  Solo artist playing Bach as a conduit- without an audience.  Zoom world is performative- dependent on an audience at the other end watching or listening- we hope.

What is a dream?  When are we dreaming?  Associations as dreams.  Definition- ‘shaman’ means ‘one who dreams’.  If all of us dream then all of us are shamans.  We can create and feel and do whatever.  Little green leaf of hope- to see it like that.  One of the dreamer’s face is covered in sun- in the light.

Idea that one is never wholly safe within the Matrix- suddenly one gets a kind of dream that really shakes one- eg. the dream of the miscarriage.  The thunder always speaks.  Something about the post pandemic world?  Not going to be safe just because we’ve got a vaccine.

Sense of alchemy- being lit by nature.  Permeating through all of this- idea of first nation. 

Movement theme- fact of the way we give meaning to things that might have been considered primitive until the pandemic- belonging to natives etc. eg. Behaving according to seasons, storms, sun etc.  Probably will get new meaning in brave new world.  Will go back to some of it without giving it any kind of affinity or negative meaning or anything that is not modern enough.  New meaning will allow us to adapt or behave with ways of human behaviour that we may have left behind in the museums/history.  We can re-adapt them as they are useful for human society.

Thunder in the silence- Joel L. Goldsmith (mystical Christian) ‘Thunder in the Silence’.  Earth based, pre-Christian ways of knowing.  What is a dream, what is alive?  Archaic arrival.


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